- Running outside is one of the best things ever (unless it’s summer in Florida), but the treadmill is actually a torture device.
- I could easily live on bread, sweet potatoes, yogurt (frozen and/or greek), watermelon and avocados if things like “balanced diets” and “protein” and “not getting scurvy” weren’t important.
- Salty is better than sweet — unless it’s something sweet that’s also salted, in which case you’ve hit the jackpot.
- Swimming in local lakes means you’re entering the food chain, and not as the apex predator. Open water swims are not workouts, they’re acts of bravery deserving of a medal.
- Guacamole, queso, and salsa are their own holy trinity of deliciousness.
- Louis C.K. was entirely right when he said “You don’t have to be smart to laugh at farts, but you’d have to be stupid not to.”
- There is no substitute for good live music, which you need regular doses of to keep you healthy — but ample amounts of bands & artists like the Old 97s, Reckless Kelly, Have Gun Will Travel, Band of Heathens, Wade Bowen, Stoney LaRue, and MOFRO (at least, to start with) will help tide you over between shows.
- Ending a friendship (or having it ended for you) is harder than ending a relationship, but you’ll end up in a far better (and happier) place for it.
- It’s totally okay to love great tv shows like Parks & Recreation, Louie, True Blood, Community, Friday Night Lights, Mad Men, Childrens Hospital, and Eastbound and Down, but also have a weakness for shows like Secret Life of the American Teenager and Make It or Break It.
- Sometimes, despite your first dance being to Buddy Miller’s “When it Comes to You,” your actual wedding song will end up being Styx’s “Renegade” because that’s what gets most everyone on the dance floor. Especially when the DJ plays it right after the Steelers beat the Ravens in the playoffs. This holds true even if you are actually a Bears fan, because it’s just that awesome to see all of your new relatives out there having such a good time.
- If you’re with a group of women and need to really get a conversation rolling, baby names and/or etiquette breaches will do it every single time.
- The Beatles wouldn’t have written All You Need Is Love if they had known about College Gameday and NHL Center Ice, because from August to April, those are what you really need.
- There are no drinks more satisfying than a cold beer on a hot day, except for maybe grapefruit Perrier because that stuff is both delicious and addictive.
- Champagne is more of an essential for living than it is a drink.
- Carrot cake is the best cake. Coconut cream is a very, very, very distant second.
- There are far more good people out there than creepers and crazies, which makes this whole internet thing totally worth it.
